From 105 Kilos To Completely Bald: Honey Singh Opens Up On What Bipolar Medication Really Did To Him

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He was in a hotel room in Chicago, paralysed by fear, when he made a decision that shocked everyone around him. To avoid going on stage with Shah Rukh Khan, Honey Singh shaved half his own head. Not as a style statement. As a desperate, silent cry for help.

Photo Credit: Instagram: @yoyohoneysingh

That moment: raw, frightening, and completely misunderstood by his team at the time, marked the beginning of what would become seven years of near-total disappearance from public life. In a deeply candid conversation on the ABtalks podcast, the rapper and producer, whose real name is Hirdesh Singh, has now laid out the full picture: not just the mental collapse, but the physical devastation that followed years of heavy psychiatric medication. Including the detail that surprised perhaps even his most loyal fans.

"This is fake hair," he said plainly. "I am totally bald. This is a wig."

The Night It All Broke

Singh described how his breakdown began during a period when he was stretched across two continents, filming a music reality show in Mumbai while simultaneously touring the United States with Shah Rukh Khan. The pressure, it turned out, was already doing damage he could not yet name.

"I was getting suspicious thoughts that I will die," he told ABtalks. "I was in Chicago, somebody was with me, and she said you have to go for rehearsal. I said I can't go. Shah Rukh bhai called me and asked what happened. I said I will be fine, I will see you on stage."

He didn't make it to that stage - not fully. "I was feeling that I will die on stage and I was thinking how can I skip it, so I shaved half of my head, but they said we will make you wear the cap. I was like, people are not understanding."

After leaving mid-show, having sung just two songs, he returned to India. And then, effectively, vanished.

Seven Years Behind A Closed Door

What followed was not a quiet retreat or a sabbatical. It was an isolation so complete that it began to feel like disappearing from reality itself.

"After that, I stayed inside my house for seven years," Singh said. "I didn't want my fans to see me in that condition. I locked myself inside and didn't even meet my childhood friends. There was no communication, no phone calls, no TV, no internet. People used to think the devil was talking to me."

The fear, he explained, was not abstract. "For three years, I didn't step out of my bedroom. Even while taking a shower, I used to keep the bathroom door open because I was scared I would die. Bipolar disorder takes you into destructive thoughts that are not real, but it makes you feel like they are actually happening."

By 2018 and 2019, the delusions had deepened into something harder to describe. "I believed that I was already dead," he said. "I used to sit there thinking I was dead already and stuck somewhere between heaven and hell. My mother would give me food, and I would think it was my last meal."

The Weight Of Medication

The mind was not the only thing that bore the cost. Singh spoke with striking directness about what seven years of heavy psychiatric medication did to his body.

"I was on heavy medication for seven years. I became 105 kilos because of it, and I lost my hair completely."

Lithium, one of the most widely prescribed mood stabilisers for bipolar disorder, lists alopecia as a recognised adverse effect. The precise mechanism is not fully established, but hypothesised pathways include lithium's effect on the hair follicle cycle and lithium-induced hypothyroidism, which can itself trigger hair thinning. Research published in medical literature found that lithium causes hair loss in 12 to 19 per cent of long-term users. Singh's case, by his own account, went all the way.

Singh had spoken about the medication's impact before. In an earlier interview, he described the medicines as containing significant sodium and lithium, which affected his thyroid and weight - calling it "a two-way fight": taking medication to manage the illness, then having to battle its physical side effects. The wig revelation on ABtalks was the missing piece of that picture.

The Turning Point

Recovery came, but slowly, and only after a key change. Singh credited a shift in both his doctor and his prescription for the breakthrough that finally allowed him to rejoin the world.

"I was on the same medication for seven years and still wasn't getting cured. But when I finally decided to step out of my house, I also changed my doctor. He changed some medicines, introduced new ones, and adjusted the dosage of the main salt. I started recovering within four weeks. In just four weeks, I started meeting people and facing life again."

He was equally candid about the timeline of recovery more broadly. "You won't believe it, but even after I stopped doing drugs in 2014, it still took me seven to eight years to recover."

He described the experience of finally emerging from it with a simplicity that carried more weight than any dramatic metaphor could. "I feel like I have just come out of a sauna where someone made me sit for a very long time. I came out burnt and exhausted, but I feel okay now. I thank God this happened to me in my early 30s because I was still able to make a comeback."

Bottomline

Honey Singh has been open about his bipolar disorder before. But the ABtalks conversation is different; it puts a body in the room. The weight gain, the hair loss, the wig on stage at every comeback show. These are not incidental details. They are the full story of what long-term psychiatric treatment can look like, even when it is working. Singh ended up somewhere he could live with. He just wanted people to know what it actually costs to get there.

[Disclaimer: This article discusses personal experiences with bipolar disorder, psychiatric medication, and substance use recovery for informational and awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you or someone you know is experiencing symptoms of a mental health condition, please consult a qualified healthcare provider.]