Dealing With Critical Parents: A Look Into The Life Of A Girl Having Critical Parents

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Having a healthy relationship with your parents is bliss but it can be a bit tough when you have critical parents. Even though your parents love you dearly, they won't stop criticising you every now and then. Sometimes this can lead to the lack of self-confidence and self-esteem in children. They might also get annoyed and hurt by the criticism of your parents.

Adya (23) from Bihar said to Boldsky, "I have critical parents. It is not that they don't love me. They do. But they criticise me whenever they feel I did something wrong. I learned to grow with their criticism but I can't change my parents for being critical, right?"

This is true. No one can change their parents but can surely deal with them. The below tips will help you to deal with your critical parents. Read on:

1. Accept Your Parents

Some children have parents who are quite supportive and nurturing. For them, things can be sweeter but for those who have critical parents, things can be tough.

Adya says, "It didn't take me a long time to understand that my parents are critical and will criticise me for almost everything. I accepted this fact and soon I noticed, I have no problem in receiving their criticisms".

Also Read: How Relationship Problems Of New Parents Affect Children's Behaviour

You need to accept the way your parents are. Maybe your parents feel uncomfortable to show their love and care for you in a direct way. But that doesn't mean your parents don't love you.

2. Don't Feel Bad For Being Criticised

According to Adya, "The more I felt bad about the critical nature of my parents, the more criticism I received for being gloomy and not smiling." "People say, 'I am just like my father.' Then I realised my father criticised me when he saw that I lacked certain qualities or was repeating the mistakes that my father did while he was of my age."

Your parents see you as a better version of themselves and therefore, they won't like you to repeat the mistakes that were once committed by them. This leads to criticisms. Moreover, being protective and doubtful of your choices can also make your parents criticise you.

3. Stop Believing In Their Criticism

At times, your parents might criticise you by saying 'you can't do this or that' but that doesn't mean they see you incapable of doing that particular work. They might be concerned for you and are unable to express the same through positive emotions and therefore, take the help of negative emotions to express their fear in the form of criticism. Thus, you don't need to believe in their criticism.

4. Bring Positive Change In You

If you want your parents to stop criticising you, then you need to bring changes in yourself. For this, observe the reason for which your parents criticise you. If you can, you should bring positive changes in you.

According to Adya, "My mother criticised me for not helping her in the household and my father criticised me for not sleeping on time. I started to change myself according to them. This not only helped me to face less criticism from parents but also helped me to have a better sleeping habit."

5. Make Them Feel Proud

One of the best things that you can do is make your parents feel proud of you and your work. You can do well in your academics or in sports to make your parents feel proud of you. This will certainly help you to deal with their criticism. Adya says, "When I started to do well in my studies and my parents got to hear good things from my teachers, I noticed they criticised me quite less."

6. Let Them Be Who They Are

If you are trying to change your parents' behaviour, you might hit the rocks. Let your parents be who they are. They won't wish anything bad for you. In fact, you can let them understand your perspective through a calm tone.

You must understand parents are there to help you in any circumstances. But when they see you are not giving your best or you are not living the way you should be, they show their disagreement through criticism. Instead of taking it negatively, you should take it as a chance to improve yourself.

Disclaimer: The name and identifying detail of the individual have been changed to ensure privacy.