Why Some Friendships Fizzle Out?

Beyond Love

oi-Anwesha

By Anwesha Barari

Friday, June 22, 2012, 12:03

When we are young and full of lively exuberance, we promise to be 'friends for ever'. A few years out of college and all that exhilarating enthusiasm leaves us and ground realities become clear than ever. We all make several friends during the course of our lives; some make fewer friends than others but we all do have 'friends'. The question is, how many of these friendships last for a lifetime.

Most friendships end as soon as school or college gets over and, others fizzle out with time. Let us take a look at why friendships end.

Out Of Sight Out Of Mind: Distance hits friendships just as much as it hits romantic relationships. Most of us have a group of best buddies in college and lose touch with them after we pass out. This is because we all get busy with our lives and the college campus is no longer a common meeting ground. Sometimes, we meet a classmate after years and fail to recall even their name. Human memory is very short lived, if you are out of sight you will surely be out of mind.

Maintaining A Long Distance Friendship: There are a lot of logistical hassles in carrying on a long distance friendship. You have to make expensive long distance calls to your friend, find out time from busy weekends to video chat and make a yearly trip to meet your best buddy. Not everyone has the quality to do all such things and often long lapses of communication loosens friendship.

The Pains Of Growing Up: The strongest bond of friendship are formed in school and college. But as we grow up, we realise, we have turned up differently from what we imagined. Even your best buddies from school can grow into an entirely different person and fails to understand each others' choices. Finally, they end up knowing very little about each others life because of very little sharing.

The Significant Other: The entry of that significant other in your life might dim the brilliant light of friendship. We all grow up and eventually get married. After that, our better halves occupy most of our lives. We become too involved with sustaining a marriage and family to keep in touch with friends. This is especially true for women. You will find friends who were soul sisters in college end up not seeing each other for decades after marriage.

The end of a friendship is not an abrupt end. In most cases it is a series of silent years where you fall out of touch. The amazing thing about life is that we always manage to find new friends and retain some special old ones.